something for laughting

Teacher: History is a very interesting subject. It tells you about what had happened in the past

Student: Please teacher, I don't think I want to study history.

Teacher: Why?

Student: There is no future in it.

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Teacher: Ted, if your father has $10 and you ask him for $6, howmuch would your father still have?

Ted: $10.

Teacher: You don't know maths.

Ted: You don't know my father!

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Mother: David, come here.

David: Yes, mum?

Mother: You really disappoint me. Your results are getting worse.

David: But I will only get my report book tomorrow.

Mother: I know that. But I am going to Hong Kong tomorrow, so I'am scolding you now.

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Father: Why did you fail your mathematics test?

Son: On Monday, teacher said 3+5=8

Father: So?

Son: On Tuesday, she said 4+4=8 And on Wednesday, she said 6+2=8.>If she can't make up her mind, how do I know the right answer?

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A mother and son were doing dishes while the father and daughter were Watching TV in the living room. Suddenly, there was a loud crash of breaking plates, then complete silence. The daughter turned to look at her father.

Daughter: It's mummy!

Father: How do you know?

Daughter: She didn't say anything.

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Girl: Do you love me?

Boy: Yes Dear

Girl: Would you die for me?

Boy: No, mine is undying love

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Man: How old is your father?

Boy: As old as me

Man: How can that be?

Boy: He became a father only when I was born

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Waiter: I've stewed liver, boiled tongue and frog's leg.

Customer: Don't tell me your problems. Give me the menu card.

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Teacher: Simon, your composition on "My Dog" is exactly the same asyour brother's. Did u copy his?

Simon: No, teacher, it's the same dog!

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Father: Your teacher says she finds it impossible to teach you anything!

Son: That's why I say she's no good!

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Teacher: "Where were u born?"

Student: "Malaysia, Sir."

Teacher: "Which part?"

Student: "All of me, Sir."

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A teacher was asking her class: "What is the difference between 'unlawful' And 'illegal'?" Only one hand shot up."Ok, answer, Joan" said the teacher."'unlawful' is when u do something the law doesn't allow and 'illegal' is A sick eagle."

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Teacher: "How come you do not comb your hair?"

Ah Kow: "No comb, Sir."

Teacher: "Use your dad's then."

Ah Kow: "No hair, Sir."

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A boy came home from school with his exam results. "What did u get?" asked his father. "My marks are under water," said the boy. "What do u mean 'under water'?" "They are all below 'C' level"